Life

20.

Bye-bye being a teenager.

^Why is that so scary to write? – I don’t normally think about getting a year older, however yesterday when I turned 20 I had a mini freak out. I’m not sure if it is because I’m officially, officially an adult, or if it’s because it’s the end of an era – an era I don’t think I took control of.

We are all sold the dream that being a teenager is going to be the decade you are wild and free and to be honest I was more like tame and trapped. I spent most of my time hiding away in the comfort of my bedroom as that was safe and I couldn’t fail. – People always say that you will regret not doing things when you were older, and one day after being a teenager I already regret not being braver and putting myself out there. Don’t get me wrong it wasn’t all doom and gloom, but I definitely limited myself due to not wanting to speak out (anyone else

have that feeling of being completely sick when having to ask someone something? – tills were my worst nightmare).

HOWEVER, this is not meant to be a feel sorry for me post – pretty depressing as this is my first post! Instead I’ve promised myself that when I turn 30 I will not feel like I let myself down. So I’ve made myself some short term goals to turn it around:

1) Start a blog and don’t give up on it!
2) Travel by myself – next Monday I’m flying to America for 3 months to waitress at a hotel (I’m v nervous)

You might think that this is sort of cheating, as both of these ‘goals’ I’m already half way there as they are already scheduled, however for me the important thing is to make the most out of them, as I’ve been lucky to have many opportunities in the past, but I feel like I’ve only done them half-halfheartedly as I never fully put myself out there due to fear of failure (I guess).

So happy birthday to me – and for the first time I am going to embrace the unknown with this blog and USA.

Thanks for reading till the end and I’m sorry as after reading this through it is definitely a pity piece – I promise that wasn’t what I was aiming for, I thought doing a post on my birthday would be a fun start – I guess that’s the beauty of writing.

Rx

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